Friday, May 13, 2011

A spanking good time? Romantic Spanking and the Alpha Male

At 31, David has been an alpha male and involved in what he terms ‘the BDSM lifestyle” for over ten years.

For David (not his real name, though he is a real person), romantic spanking as an alpha male is:
  • Power, control.
  • A simple act which shows ownership and love.
  • A warmth in the heart at the reaction of those who enjoy it.
  • A certain enjoyment of power over those who must accept it..

David’s response echoes that of many romantic spanking enthusiasts that are alpha males and who enjoy being the hand that’s wielded.

Few alpha males use romantic spanking as punishment in relationships. Instead, it is an act that adds erotic spice to an already loving and sensual relationship. For the spanker, there is the satisfaction of being in control – along with the enjoyment of giving pleasure to someone who truly enjoys the sting and heat of a well-delivered swat to the bottom.

“My girlfriend would leave me if I didn’t warm her bottom at least a couple of times a week,” adds Mike, a 29 year old database designer. His girlfriend – soon-to-be-fiancĂ©e – agrees wholeheartedly. "A spanking," says 28 year old Jenn, “…in particular an unexpected one, enhances the moment by being a wholly different sensation during sex than other sensations, (it) is usually sharp and stinging, and is associated with a disciplinary measure which can also spur me to more arousal.”

While some spankees enjoy a good spanking purely for the physical sensations, there are definitely those who get their thrill from the subtler implications of the act. Says Lisa, “I know I enjoy it because of the feeling of humiliation. I've been a naughty, nasty girl and I deserve to be punished.”

The ‘naughty little girl’ scenario is a powerful turn-on for many people, including those who have no interest in BDSM or D/s as a lifestyle. For them, a little fantasy role play with a naughty schoolgirl in the principal’s office makes romantic spanking the perfect lead-in to more erotic play. Additionally, some girls just enjoy the thought that their alpha male partner is going to take control and not put up with any BS and dish out consequences for misbehavior.

For a relatively ‘simple’ act, romantic spanking as a fetish has an amazing number of variants and genres. There are:

  • OTK (over the knee) enthusiasts.
  • Those who prefer a spanking target bent over grasping ankles.
  • Some people enjoy skin-to-skin contact – bare hand to bare butt.
  • Others prefer spanking a pantied bottom.
  • Humiliation is a key ingredient for many – and a complete turn-off for others.
  • Some enjoy spanking as foreplay
  • For others, spanking is an erotic act in and of itself, with or without the
  • addition of any other sexual acts.
For those who’ve never tried romantic spanking but find the idea intriguing, there’s a whole world of information available about spanking on the internet and at your local bookstore. You can find everything from scholarly essays on the psychological underpinnings of the act to practical advice on how to deliver an erotic spanking that will satisfy without causing damage.

The bottom line, according to experts in physical functioning, is that romantic spanking increases blood flow, warms the skin, increases sensitivity in areas around the genitals. Because it’s so often associated with discipline, spanking or being spanked can draw on deep-seated emotions, making it doubly arousing to those who enjoy either side of the Dominant/submissive dichotomy. At the same time, because it is such a ‘mild’ indulgence, spanking is often a comfort zone even in the most ‘vanilla’ relationships.

Mike’s girlfriend Jenn sums up the feelings of most spanking enthusiasts with a wide grin, as she amplifies on her own description of spanking above.

“In other words, when he warms up my bottom, it makes me hot all over."

Share This Blog