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| Photo by mzacha |
Gail Prince, M.Ed, who is also a dating and relationship specialist, explains in her book Love Signals, on page 28, that
Still have doubts about how important nonverbal communication is? Would it help if I told you that sociologist estimate that around 90% of our communication is totally nonverbal. What this mean, guys, is that if you don't know how to use your body language to communicate, you are missing out on a real opportunity to attract women and get dates.In her book First Impressions, Best Impressions, author Janet Elsea explains it this way. "Nonverbal communication is the first and greatest source of impressions in direct, face-to-face interactions. It is the yardstick against which your words and actions are measured. It is one of the most revealing differences between powerful people and those with little or no power."
She goes on: "Nonverbal communication is the primary ingredient in how people judge what's 'attractive' in others. Studies show that 'attractive' people are perceived to be more intelligent, more likeable, more interesting and more credible than their less 'attractive' counterparts."
Ready for those three tips?
Body Language in Dating Tip One: Stop Being Insecure!
Fidgeting, looking around with uncertainty, indecisive movements, and a slumped body posture all need to be replaced with fare more confident body postures. Never fidget, it conveys nervousness. Don't look around or act like you don't know what you're doing or where you're going - it comes across as wussy behavior. Slumping over will induce a state of depression within you and make others feel the same way. Additionally, slumping over is what losers end up doing after they've lost - thus the position induces a state where success is unlikely. As such, stand up straight and tall and roll your shoulders back. Be relaxed and comfortable, yet confident. These tips by themselves will go a long ways in helping you to improve your body language and thus making you more attractive to women.
Body Language in Dating Tip Two: Take Up Some Space
Do you know what Alpha men do? An Alpha man typically takes up more space as if to say "this is my backyard, my home turf." This conveys a very powerful psychological impression - "I'm the top dog." What happens when someone is a top dog? Others tend to seek them out, be loyal to them, and seek their permission.
These same Alpha men also don't doge out of the way of someone else. When they are walking somewhere, they expect the people in their way to just move. Why should they have to be the one to move? After all, they are the top dog. This conveys both confidence and dominance. Like it or not, women tend to be more attracted to a take charge kind of guy. Not a controlling man, but a man that knows how to take charge of a situation.
To master this body language technique, work on slowing down your movements. Though it won't give the full effect of being dominant and confident, it will go a long way in starting you on the road to acquiring those learned behaviors. Also beneficial, is to find a guy that you admire or lookup to, someone that is an Alpha male, and observe their body language for one night. That alone can be a huge learning tool.
Body Language in Dating Tip Three: Don't be Afraid to Enter Her Personal Space
Do you know what acquaintances do? Acquaintances typically respect the personal space of each other. They don't huge, put their arm around you, pat you on the back, touch you anywhere really. Why? Because this behavior is reserved only when you are intimately close to someone. Do you know what that means? It means you have to initiate this behavior with a woman that you like - otherwise you will always be an acquaintance, or worse yet, end up in that dreaded "let's just be friends" category.
You can't be afraid to get into her personal space. Now, keep in mind, this doesn't mean you need to be in her face or touching her in unappropriated places. It does mean that you need to be confident and comfortable with touching her though. Believe me, a woman can tell when you touch her if you are confident or not. Women have a sixth sense about that sort of thing. Hell, a woman can feel out a "weak" man a mile away. Don't be one of those.... it can end a relationship before it even gets started. Of course there is a right way and a wrong way to do kino escalation. That will be the topic of a future blog post though.
When I say touch here, I am implying a light touch of her hand, playful pokes, hip checks, and other flirty movements. Never a hand on her butt, a smack on the ass, groping the breasts, etc. That all will come with time, for now work on just becoming comfortable with standard flirtatious touching.
Now that you have the basics down, get out there and start working with your new body language skills and see how it improves your chances with the dating game.
